The Toolshed makes it a Hard Return

J. Carson Black @

Sounds innocuous, doesn’t it? Almost boring. You picture some metal shed near a lawn and a strip of driveway. Where you keep the rake, the shovel, and the fertilizer.

But what if a “toolshed” is not what it seems?

What if you need certain tools that aren’t on sale at Ace Hardware?

Like a guy who can take out somebody you don’t like.

If you’re connected the right way, you can go to the Toolshed, and pick out your tool.
In Hard Return, Cyril Landry wants to attract the attention of certain people who are looking for such a service. So he puts himself out there. And someone comes a’calling: his old friend, a former Navy SEAL named Eric Blackburn.

Here’s the scene:

Eric said, “Your picture was floating through the Toolshed, so I snagged it…. Got your contract, too.” He set the phone down, leaned back, and stretched out his legs, crossing his tennis-shoed feet at the ankles. “Seriously, dude, the people I work with wouldn’t be happy about the way you’re sniffing around.”

According to my source (wow, I just said “according to my source!”), when you want someone done yesterday, there’s a place you can go: the Toolshed. You put out feelers. It’s kind of like a forum, kind of like thin air, where some tough characters and assassins with good resumes are available to get the job done. You go to the Toolshed and pick out the right tool.

And if you’re selling your wares, sometimes, you just hang out in an outdoor café in Austria, and look like you mean business. Which is what Cyril Landry does in Hard Return and then makes his “hard return.”

So how do you get access to The Toolshed?

That’s above my pay grade.

Is the Toolshed for real? Is it for REALLY real?

That’s for you, dear reader, to decide.